Michael Valentine, 1950 – 2024

My friend Chris—one of my many Death Elves—tipped me off to the death last week of Michael Valentine, 74. Valentine invented the “Valentine One” radar detector, which you attach to your car dashboard to tip you off where a police car (or motorcycle cop) is. Thus equipped, you can race merrily down the street, mowing down schoolchildren, old folks, unwary squirrels, and even Dolly Parton, if she lives in your neighborhood. The electrical engineer was also founder of Cincinnati Microwave. The Valentine One—illegal in several states—was invented in 1992 and is still the most popular brand (among drivers, not pedestrians). Perhaps I am too het-up about this, but I am a gal who never once exceeded the speed limit (except during my dating days).